Wow! It's been 4 years since I have posted in this blog. Life definitely got crazy in those 4 years. We had another baby who is about to turn 4 in May. We left the military in 2014 and are now living the civilian life. We moved back to our home state of Georgia and live close enough to but far enough away from our families that it's not crazy. We are definitely enjoying the new experiences that God has given us but let me tell you they didn't come without a price.
I'll be honest here. Marriage hasn't been easy since we turned from military life to civilian life. Eyes were opened to a world that we never wanted to experience but we did and we have survived. God healed and restored a marriage that at one time we thought was great but really it wasn't. I can honestly say with no doubt in my heart that I am happier in my marriage than I have ever been. I am free of hurt and shame and pain and so is my husband. We found the true meaning of love. The love that only God can give us. Now we try every day with LOTS of grace to show that love to each other. We are definitely better at it now that we have placed God first in our marriage before each other and before everything else. I pray that God continues to strengthen our marriage each and everyday. We are still imperfect and we still need mercy and grace everyday. I am a proud wife and I couldn't imagine doing life with any other person besides my husband.
My heart has been restored to a passion for marriage like never before. So today I rededicate myself to my blog to not only write about my thoughts on marriage and whatever God gives me to write down but someday I hope that it is spread throughout the internet and encourages others to fight for their marriages and to fight HARD!!
Tuesday, March 8, 2016
Thursday, March 1, 2012
Where you go I will go.....maybe
Ruth loved Naomi so much that when Ruth's husband died she followed her mother-in-law back to her home land. Although Naomi told her not to, Ruth went anyway telling her " Don't urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God will be my God. Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried." (Ruth 1:16-17)
When we marry we say those vows that are common to every wedding.
I, (name) take thee, (name) to be my wedded (husband/wife),
to have and to hold from this day forward,
for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer,
in sickness or in health, to love and to cherish, 'til death do us part,
according to God's holy ordinance;
thereto I plight thee my troth.
(Thereto I pledge my love).
Now how many of us actually think about these vows when we say them. I can honestly say I didn't. But when I look back on the meanings behind these words they make me so much happier that I did.
Let's flashback almost 7 years ago. I was a giddy 18 year old getting married to a Marine! Yes, I was in love with him and nothing could have made me happier than taking his last name. But I didn't think about those words. All I was thinking about was who was standing in front of me and he was going to be mine. HA ladies, he's off the market. You can't have him.
Now flashforward to almost 7 years later, 2 kids and another one on the way, a dog, house payment, car payment, loans, bills, debt, the list goes on and on. I am upholding my vows to my husband. Honor, cherish, richer, poorer, sickness, health and of course that list goes on and on too. But here's the kick in the butt that I got today: AM I REALLY FOLLOWING ALL THESE VOWS?
Am I honoring him the way I should? How about cherishing him? Sure I got the sick and health one down as well as the richer or poorer but what about those 2? Cherish? Sure I love everything that he does for me and the kids. Is that cherishing? How about bringing him honor? Am I holding myself up to the level that I know he is looked upon. Am I setting the example and being the good wife that represents my husband?
Ok now here's the kicker than you didn't necessarily say in your vows. To follow. I didn't say lead. I said follow. Husbands are suppose to be Christ-like in the sense that they are to love their wives like Christ loves the church. The church is to follow Christ. Ladies, let your husband be the leader in your home. I myself have had the Lord convict me of this many times and I have finally gotten to the point where I know I must step back and let him lead.
When we marry we say those vows that are common to every wedding.
I, (name) take thee, (name) to be my wedded (husband/wife),
to have and to hold from this day forward,
for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer,
in sickness or in health, to love and to cherish, 'til death do us part,
according to God's holy ordinance;
thereto I plight thee my troth.
(Thereto I pledge my love).
Now how many of us actually think about these vows when we say them. I can honestly say I didn't. But when I look back on the meanings behind these words they make me so much happier that I did.
Let's flashback almost 7 years ago. I was a giddy 18 year old getting married to a Marine! Yes, I was in love with him and nothing could have made me happier than taking his last name. But I didn't think about those words. All I was thinking about was who was standing in front of me and he was going to be mine. HA ladies, he's off the market. You can't have him.
Now flashforward to almost 7 years later, 2 kids and another one on the way, a dog, house payment, car payment, loans, bills, debt, the list goes on and on. I am upholding my vows to my husband. Honor, cherish, richer, poorer, sickness, health and of course that list goes on and on too. But here's the kick in the butt that I got today: AM I REALLY FOLLOWING ALL THESE VOWS?
Am I honoring him the way I should? How about cherishing him? Sure I got the sick and health one down as well as the richer or poorer but what about those 2? Cherish? Sure I love everything that he does for me and the kids. Is that cherishing? How about bringing him honor? Am I holding myself up to the level that I know he is looked upon. Am I setting the example and being the good wife that represents my husband?
Ok now here's the kicker than you didn't necessarily say in your vows. To follow. I didn't say lead. I said follow. Husbands are suppose to be Christ-like in the sense that they are to love their wives like Christ loves the church. The church is to follow Christ. Ladies, let your husband be the leader in your home. I myself have had the Lord convict me of this many times and I have finally gotten to the point where I know I must step back and let him lead.
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Releasing the insecurities of the past
Dreams are powerful things. They either make you happy or make you sad. Dreams can be a rememberance of something from your past, a slight glace into what is to come, or just a fanasty. I have dreams that haunt me. Dreams that make me re-live certain things in my past. Things that I thought had no meaning until I looked deeper into them. I had one of those dreams last night. It's a recurring one that I hate to have and am so ready for it to never come back. It's a dream that I have only shared with my husband because he is the only one that needs to know about it.
William is a very devoted husband. He takes care of every need and tried his hardest to make me happy everyday. Being in the military that can sometimes be hard to do when he is away but he still tries.
As I took a closer look into this reoccuring dream that I have it came to my attention that I have it because of my past. When I was still a baby my parents divorced. I never thought about it much but looking back it did play a big part in my life. Living with my mother until I was 5. Being put into a foster home until I was 6, when finally I went to live with my dad. I went to visit my mother every other weekend and every other holiday, and 1 month out of the summer. Doesn't seem too bad right? When I look back now it was. Hearing what my dad had to say about my mom or my mom saying about my dad wasn't my idea of fun. Looking back I know now I was effected by this greatly. When we married William and I vowed we would never think about the words seperation or divorced. We didn't want the words to even be in our vocabulary and they haven't.
The devil tries his hardest to tell you lies. He makes you think they are the truth. That what my dream is. A complete LIE! It only occurs when William is away and it only happens when I start to dig deeper into the Word about marriage and love.
The bible tells us " Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you." James 4:7. How does this verse apply to my dream? Easily. The devil constantly replays this dream over and over to make me insecure about my marriage. I know it is a lie and yet I still dwell on the dream for days afterward. Not anymore. I am claiming my marriage to be secure and in the presence of God. With Him I have no fear of anything happening in my marriage. I forgive my parents for their divorce and the impact it caused in my life. I forgive myself for not seeing this before. And I also forgive myself for believing the dreams. I know God has forgiven me and He is there with me to walk me through this. He is the Ultimate. He is the One. He takes away my burdens and restores my mind and my thoughts. "He said to her, "Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering." Mark 5:31. Although this verse goes with a story about a completely different problem that the woman had I can see the Lord telling me the same thing about the healing of my mind. I have faith that the Lord will take away the awful dreams I have. I have faith that my mind is clear and free. I have faith that the Lord will only bring William and I closer together.
So when you have insecurities of the past, let them go and forgive those who caused them to you. Forgive yourself for allowing those insecurites. Let us not learn on our own understanding but on Gods. His thoughts are so much better than our own. Don't you think?
William is a very devoted husband. He takes care of every need and tried his hardest to make me happy everyday. Being in the military that can sometimes be hard to do when he is away but he still tries.
As I took a closer look into this reoccuring dream that I have it came to my attention that I have it because of my past. When I was still a baby my parents divorced. I never thought about it much but looking back it did play a big part in my life. Living with my mother until I was 5. Being put into a foster home until I was 6, when finally I went to live with my dad. I went to visit my mother every other weekend and every other holiday, and 1 month out of the summer. Doesn't seem too bad right? When I look back now it was. Hearing what my dad had to say about my mom or my mom saying about my dad wasn't my idea of fun. Looking back I know now I was effected by this greatly. When we married William and I vowed we would never think about the words seperation or divorced. We didn't want the words to even be in our vocabulary and they haven't.
The devil tries his hardest to tell you lies. He makes you think they are the truth. That what my dream is. A complete LIE! It only occurs when William is away and it only happens when I start to dig deeper into the Word about marriage and love.
The bible tells us " Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you." James 4:7. How does this verse apply to my dream? Easily. The devil constantly replays this dream over and over to make me insecure about my marriage. I know it is a lie and yet I still dwell on the dream for days afterward. Not anymore. I am claiming my marriage to be secure and in the presence of God. With Him I have no fear of anything happening in my marriage. I forgive my parents for their divorce and the impact it caused in my life. I forgive myself for not seeing this before. And I also forgive myself for believing the dreams. I know God has forgiven me and He is there with me to walk me through this. He is the Ultimate. He is the One. He takes away my burdens and restores my mind and my thoughts. "He said to her, "Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering." Mark 5:31. Although this verse goes with a story about a completely different problem that the woman had I can see the Lord telling me the same thing about the healing of my mind. I have faith that the Lord will take away the awful dreams I have. I have faith that my mind is clear and free. I have faith that the Lord will only bring William and I closer together.
So when you have insecurities of the past, let them go and forgive those who caused them to you. Forgive yourself for allowing those insecurites. Let us not learn on our own understanding but on Gods. His thoughts are so much better than our own. Don't you think?
Monday, July 25, 2011
You are so WRONG!!!!!
My brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry. -James 1:19 NIV
Listening and not speaking quickly could have saved me and my husband from so many arguments, also not becoming angry suddenly could have too!! How many times have I jumped down my husbands throat because I thought he was wrong or I knew he was and wanted to prove it to him?
He who answers before listening-that is his folly and his shame. -Prov. 12:13
Trying to prove my husband wrong even when I knew he was right tore him down. How did I not know this until now? Is it because I didn't want to listen to God when He spoke to me about how I should be a better wife to my husband? Before I decided I want to be a better wife, mother, and daughter of God I didn't care how it made my husband feel when I did something. Now I do! God has convicted me in so many areas of my life but tonight all I can think of is James 1:19. Maybe it's because in the last few days my husband has told me that I am going to yell at him about something because he can expect that out of me if it's not done when I want it to be. This past week I have proved him wrong and I think it bothers him a little. He is so used to me becoming angry at him and speaking my mind that he expects it every time.
Through prayer and self-control (given from God I think) I have become a little better at showing my husband that I respect him. It tears him down when I yell at him and now I know this.
A wife of noble character is her husband's crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bone. -Prov. 12:4
One of my convicting verses! God convicted me on this verse around this time last year and at first I listened and though I was going to be a better wife to my husband. I wanted to be his crowning glory. HAHAHA Holly! Guess that didn't work out like I had planned because I went right back to getting angry and yelling at my husband. It's ok though because we all stumble but God is right there to pick us back up. He is always there to guide our every way. He says he will never leave us nor forsake us.
God put me back on track and I can only pray that my husband sees the new me and stops looking at me in the old ways.
Listening and not speaking quickly could have saved me and my husband from so many arguments, also not becoming angry suddenly could have too!! How many times have I jumped down my husbands throat because I thought he was wrong or I knew he was and wanted to prove it to him?
He who answers before listening-that is his folly and his shame. -Prov. 12:13
Trying to prove my husband wrong even when I knew he was right tore him down. How did I not know this until now? Is it because I didn't want to listen to God when He spoke to me about how I should be a better wife to my husband? Before I decided I want to be a better wife, mother, and daughter of God I didn't care how it made my husband feel when I did something. Now I do! God has convicted me in so many areas of my life but tonight all I can think of is James 1:19. Maybe it's because in the last few days my husband has told me that I am going to yell at him about something because he can expect that out of me if it's not done when I want it to be. This past week I have proved him wrong and I think it bothers him a little. He is so used to me becoming angry at him and speaking my mind that he expects it every time.
Through prayer and self-control (given from God I think) I have become a little better at showing my husband that I respect him. It tears him down when I yell at him and now I know this.
A wife of noble character is her husband's crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bone. -Prov. 12:4
One of my convicting verses! God convicted me on this verse around this time last year and at first I listened and though I was going to be a better wife to my husband. I wanted to be his crowning glory. HAHAHA Holly! Guess that didn't work out like I had planned because I went right back to getting angry and yelling at my husband. It's ok though because we all stumble but God is right there to pick us back up. He is always there to guide our every way. He says he will never leave us nor forsake us.
God put me back on track and I can only pray that my husband sees the new me and stops looking at me in the old ways.
Monday, July 11, 2011
"And the catch is......"
The weekend went by way too fast for me. One thing that sticks out in my mind is something that happened Friday night. William asked me if he could go clean his motorcycle and clean the garage. I told him yes. He looked at me. I said "What?'. "And the catch is.....", was his reply. "No catch, go work in the garage if you want." William gave me a look and said " I don't like this. You are scaring me." I laughed at him and told him that there was no catch and that he could go work in the garage all he wanted. I could see him point as to why he questioned me. In the past I had always given him a "Yes, but you need to do this first" answer. When he questioned me it was out of habit. Needless to say he went to the garage and spend a few hours cleaning his motorcycle and the garage.
Looking back on this account it makes me think about how much I really was a control freak. It's pretty bad when your husband wants to do something and for him to get it he's got to do something else first. When did I ever give him just some "me" time? He so desperately needs it. We all do.
Today this got me thinking about how much do we really trust that God will give us what he says. "What's the catch, God?" Hmmmmm......
I know I have personally questioned God about some things. Even when I know He's really going to do what He says He's gonna do.
"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the Lord. "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts." Isa. 55:8-9 NIV
What a powerful verse! God is so much higher than us. He has such better thoughts and ways than we do. Who wouldn't want to put their trust in someone that is higher? I certainly do.
Also, my husband is just a little higher than me in the chain of household and I certainly need to put my trust in him. I need to trust that he is going to make the right decisions for our family. He needs to know that I trust him to make those decisions. If there isn't trust in a marriage then how can it bloom?
Note to self: Trust that God has my back! He is looking out for my family and everything that we need.
Looking back on this account it makes me think about how much I really was a control freak. It's pretty bad when your husband wants to do something and for him to get it he's got to do something else first. When did I ever give him just some "me" time? He so desperately needs it. We all do.
Today this got me thinking about how much do we really trust that God will give us what he says. "What's the catch, God?" Hmmmmm......
I know I have personally questioned God about some things. Even when I know He's really going to do what He says He's gonna do.
"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the Lord. "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts." Isa. 55:8-9 NIV
What a powerful verse! God is so much higher than us. He has such better thoughts and ways than we do. Who wouldn't want to put their trust in someone that is higher? I certainly do.
Also, my husband is just a little higher than me in the chain of household and I certainly need to put my trust in him. I need to trust that he is going to make the right decisions for our family. He needs to know that I trust him to make those decisions. If there isn't trust in a marriage then how can it bloom?
Note to self: Trust that God has my back! He is looking out for my family and everything that we need.
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Hello....My name is Control Freak!!
"I know, O Lord, that a man's life is not his own; it is not for man to direct his." -Jer. 10:23 NIV
I am a control freak! This I know! Upon reading a chapter out of my book I realized just how big of one I really am. This is not good. Not for me. Not for my husband. Not for my children. Not for anyone. I have always been one according to this book. I can see that.
God has not designed me to be this way. I have created this myself and who am I to direct my own life? I am God's precious daughter who needs His guidance.
"I am the LORD your God, who teaches you what is best for you, who directs you in the way you should go." - Isa. 48:17
Amazing! He even tells me he knows what is best for me! He created me in his image and sometimes the choices that we make alter that into something that He didn't want for us. He tells us to follow his ways and his teachings so that we remain the way the designed us. We can't live this life on our own. We aren't meant to. We need God to show us the way.
Also, being a control freak is not good for my husband nor our marriage. I know that now even though I am sure I have always known it in the back of my head. Being control is not good for his manhood. It's degrading to him and I am a reflection of who he is. What does it look like to his fellow Marines? What does it look like to the outside world? How about to our own children? Feels like a bomb has been placed in my lap and I have to defuse it before it explodes which is exactly what is going to happen if I don't stop my controling attitude. Let my husband be in charge! He's the head, let him lead!
Advice to self: Take a step back. Let someone else be in charge. It will do you wonders!!
I am a control freak! This I know! Upon reading a chapter out of my book I realized just how big of one I really am. This is not good. Not for me. Not for my husband. Not for my children. Not for anyone. I have always been one according to this book. I can see that.
God has not designed me to be this way. I have created this myself and who am I to direct my own life? I am God's precious daughter who needs His guidance.
"I am the LORD your God, who teaches you what is best for you, who directs you in the way you should go." - Isa. 48:17
Amazing! He even tells me he knows what is best for me! He created me in his image and sometimes the choices that we make alter that into something that He didn't want for us. He tells us to follow his ways and his teachings so that we remain the way the designed us. We can't live this life on our own. We aren't meant to. We need God to show us the way.
Also, being a control freak is not good for my husband nor our marriage. I know that now even though I am sure I have always known it in the back of my head. Being control is not good for his manhood. It's degrading to him and I am a reflection of who he is. What does it look like to his fellow Marines? What does it look like to the outside world? How about to our own children? Feels like a bomb has been placed in my lap and I have to defuse it before it explodes which is exactly what is going to happen if I don't stop my controling attitude. Let my husband be in charge! He's the head, let him lead!
Advice to self: Take a step back. Let someone else be in charge. It will do you wonders!!
Monday, July 4, 2011
Letting God become my GPS!
Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my savior. -Psalm 25:5 NIV
I guide you in the way of wisdom and lead you along straight paths. -Proverbs 4:11
God is my guide. He is my leader.
As is my husband. My husband is the leader of my household. He is to be the spiritual leader of our home. *To make her holy,cleansing her by the washing with water through the word. -Eph. 5:26 NIV*
Even if he doesn't show it openly everyday, I know my husband is leading us. We look to him as a guide and our comfort, just as we look to God. God should be the one we look toward in all things. He is the Ultimate One. He leads us down the paths of greatness. He does not steer us wrong. Even if we stumble, He is there to pick us right back up. Its is our husband's job to lead our hearts to God providing us with spiritual direction we need toward Him.
I guide you in the way of wisdom and lead you along straight paths. -Proverbs 4:11
God is my guide. He is my leader.
As is my husband. My husband is the leader of my household. He is to be the spiritual leader of our home. *To make her holy,cleansing her by the washing with water through the word. -Eph. 5:26 NIV*
Even if he doesn't show it openly everyday, I know my husband is leading us. We look to him as a guide and our comfort, just as we look to God. God should be the one we look toward in all things. He is the Ultimate One. He leads us down the paths of greatness. He does not steer us wrong. Even if we stumble, He is there to pick us right back up. Its is our husband's job to lead our hearts to God providing us with spiritual direction we need toward Him.
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