You are so WRONG!!!!!

My brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry. -James 1:19 NIV

Listening and not speaking quickly could have saved me and my husband from so many arguments, also not becoming angry suddenly could have too!! How many times have I jumped down my husbands throat because I thought he was wrong or I knew he was and wanted to prove it to him?

He who answers before listening-that is his folly and his shame. -Prov. 12:13

Trying to prove my husband wrong even when I knew he was right tore him down. How did I not know this until now?  Is it because I didn't want to listen to God when He spoke to me about how I should be a better wife to my husband? Before I decided I want to be a better wife, mother, and daughter of God I didn't care how it made my husband feel when I did something. Now I do! God has convicted me in so many areas of my life but tonight all I can think of is James 1:19. Maybe it's because in the last few days my husband has told me that I am going to yell at him about something because he can expect that out of me if it's not done when I want it to be. This past week I have proved him wrong and I think it bothers him a little. He is so used to me becoming angry at him and speaking my mind that he expects it every time.

Through prayer and self-control (given from God I think) I have become a little better at showing my husband that I respect him. It tears him down when I yell at him and now I know this.

A wife of noble character is her husband's crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bone. -Prov. 12:4

One of my convicting verses! God convicted me on this verse around this time last year and at first I listened and though I was going to be a better wife to my husband. I wanted to be his crowning glory. HAHAHA Holly! Guess that didn't work out like I had planned because I went right back to getting angry and yelling at my husband. It's ok though because we all stumble but God is right there to pick us back up. He is always there to guide our every way. He says he will never leave us nor forsake us.

God put me back on track and I can only pray that my husband sees the new me and stops looking at me in the old ways.

"And the catch is......"

The weekend went by way too fast for me. One thing that sticks out in my mind is something that happened Friday night. William asked me if he could go clean his motorcycle and clean the garage. I told him yes. He looked at me. I said "What?'. "And the catch is.....", was his reply. "No catch, go work in the garage if you want." William gave me a look and said " I don't like this. You are scaring me." I laughed at him and told him that there was no catch and that he could go work in the garage all he wanted. I could see him point as to why he questioned me. In the past I had always given him a "Yes, but you need to do this first" answer. When he questioned me it was out of habit. Needless to say he went to the garage and spend a few hours cleaning his motorcycle and the garage.
Looking back on this account it makes me think about how much I really was a control freak. It's pretty bad when your husband wants to do something and for him to get it he's got to do something else first. When did I ever give him just some "me" time? He so desperately needs it. We all do.
Today this got me thinking about how much do we really trust that God will give us what he says. "What's the catch, God?" Hmmmmm......
I know I have personally questioned God about some things. Even when I know He's really going to do what He says He's gonna do.
"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the Lord. "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts." Isa. 55:8-9 NIV
What a powerful verse! God is so much higher than us. He has such better thoughts and ways than we do. Who wouldn't want to put their trust in someone that is higher? I certainly do.
Also, my husband is just a little higher than me in the chain of household and I certainly need to put my trust in him. I need to trust that he is going to make the right decisions for our family. He needs to know that I trust him to make those decisions. If there isn't trust in a marriage then how can it bloom?
Note to self: Trust that God has my back! He is looking out for my family and everything that we need.

Hello....My name is Control Freak!!

"I know, O Lord, that a man's life is not his own; it is not for man to direct his." -Jer. 10:23 NIV

I am a control freak! This I know! Upon reading a chapter out of my book I realized just how big of one I really am. This is not good. Not for me. Not for my husband. Not for my children. Not for anyone. I have always been one according to this book. I can see that.
God has not designed me to be this way. I have created this myself and who am I to direct my own life? I am God's precious daughter who needs His guidance.
"I am the LORD your God, who teaches you what is best for you, who directs you in the way you should go." - Isa. 48:17
Amazing! He even tells me he knows what is best for me! He created me in his image and sometimes the choices that we make alter that into something that He didn't want for us. He tells us to follow his ways and his teachings so that we remain the way the designed us. We can't live this life on our own. We aren't meant to. We need God to show us the way.
Also, being a control freak is not good for my husband nor our marriage. I know that now even though I am sure I have always known it in the back of my head. Being control is not good for his manhood. It's degrading to him and I am a reflection of who he is. What does it look like to his fellow Marines? What does it look like to the outside world? How about to our own children? Feels like a bomb has been placed in my lap and I have to defuse it before it explodes which is exactly what is going to happen if I don't stop my controling attitude. Let my husband be in charge! He's the head, let him lead!
Advice to self: Take a step back. Let someone else be in charge. It will do you wonders!!

Letting God become my GPS!

Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my savior. -Psalm 25:5 NIV
I guide you in the way of wisdom and lead you along straight paths. -Proverbs 4:11

God is my guide. He is my leader.

As is my husband. My husband is the leader of my household. He is to be the spiritual leader of our home. *To make her holy,cleansing her by the washing with water through the word. -Eph. 5:26 NIV*

Even if he doesn't show it openly everyday, I know my husband is leading us. We look to him as a guide and our comfort, just as we look to God. God should be the one we look toward in all things. He is the Ultimate One. He leads us down the paths of greatness. He does not steer us wrong. Even if we stumble, He is there to pick us right back up. Its is our husband's job to lead our hearts to God providing us with spiritual direction we need toward Him.

Becoming Submissive to God

Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. -James 4:7 NIV.

Without submitting to God, how are we expected to receive the joys and pleasures He grants us?

 Why do we just automatically think God is going to grant us what we want if we don't follow through with what He wants from us? I have done this many times in the past and have now realized that it only leads to a dead end road. God wants us to be submissive to Him. He wants all of us. Not a little bit here and there. Not when we feel like it. But EVERYDAY! He wants us day and night! 24/7 365! Lately I have been questioning myself on what I do that is convenient to me and not to others. Why do I do that? I only talk to God when it's convenient for me to stop what I am doing and talk to Him. Why must we be like that!! We must be willing to drop everything for a few moments of everyday and talk with God. He is our Father and He only wants what is best for us. How are we expected to get that if we don't talk and don't fully listen to what He is trying to tell us? How are we suppose to get those joys and pleasures if we don't put into practice the instructions that He gives us?
This verse made me think of something in my marriage also. Without submitting to my husband, how is he going to receive the joys and pleasures God wants him to have? Hmmm.....Interesting. What if I let my husband have the limelight for a while. What if I give him that respect that he so yearns for everyday. What will I be teaching my children then?

He guides the humble in what is right and teaches them His way. -Psalm 25:9 NIV
Note to self: Become humble and take a step back. Let God lead me not lead myself.

Stepping Back

So I had a hard time today with submission. Tonight while at my neighbor's house my son knocked off an external harddrive and broke it! I wasn't around at the time but when I did emerge on the scene all I hear was my husband talking to my son about how he broke the external and we were going to have to buy a new one. Joshua of course received a spanking and was required to sit on the couch until he left. He followed these directions which I was very proud of. I had to run back to my house to let my dog and I immediately prayed to God. I was angry. Angry with my husband because of course I had no clue what was going on and at my son for breaking such an expensive item. I prayed for forgiveness for my anger toward my husband and for God to take ahold of me and let my husband be the one to handle this situation without my butting in. I knew it was the right thing to do even though I wanted to jump in and say he's just 3 and doesn't know better. I prayed to God to grant me the peace that I needed to get through this and then to make sure that I didn't become angry with William if I disagreed with him. Upon returning to my neighbor's house and bringing the kids back home so they could go to bed I talked with Joshua about what had happened. William arrived and I expected him to jump all over Joshua. He suprised me and didn't! He talked with Joshua and we put Joshua to bed. Afterward we talked about how we would buy another external and come up with a punishment that was suitable to Joshua for this. God worked in me and also in my husband this evening by proving to me that my expectation of what my husband was going to do was different than what they were. What an amazing God I serve!!

Reminders from the Past

So I got my new book in the mail today! So very excited about it. It's called Dancing with the One You Love: Living Out Submission in the Real World. Started the first chapter and I am by far impressed! I want to dig deeper into this submission thing that God has told us to do. Ummm....Lady you are crazy is what you are thinking. Submission! I am not one for letting a man tell me what I can and can't do! Submission is not like that. God has designed it in a way that is correct and true. More to follow on that in a later blog and on to the meaning behind the title of my blog.
Tonight I was getting ready to make ice cream sundaes for dessert for my husband, kids, sister-in-law, and myself. In that order. When I reached for a bowl and my sister in law looked at me I said William first. She gave me a look and said of course, William is always first. He's the head of the household. Her response: Not in my house, mama always goes first.
This got me to thinking. What are we teaching our daughters? How does who gets the first helping at dinner or the first anything reflect our way of living? Growing up I remember my mom always fixing my dad's plate first. He was the man of the house and that's just how it was done. We coudn't eat til Dad was ready, unless he was out late, and we waited until he did. Was this the way my mom was raised? Probably and she passed it on to me. I have always served William first with dinner or anything because that is how I saw it done. But my sister in law sees my mother in law get everything first and if she doesn't like it then nobody likes it. Interesting don't you think.
What are we teaching our daughters? I know I want mine to know that her husband is the head of house and should be served accordingly. How about you?

Welcome to my blog!

Jump into my journey with me. My jourrney through the good times and the hardships of marriage! We are in no way perfect in the world and we never will be. My husband and I know this and are walking hand in hand with the help from God to better ourselves and our marriage.