Where you go I will go.....maybe

Ruth loved Naomi so much that when Ruth's husband died she followed her mother-in-law back to her home land. Although Naomi told her not to, Ruth went anyway telling her " Don't urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God will be my God. Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried." (Ruth 1:16-17)

When we marry we say those vows that are common to every wedding.
I, (name) take thee, (name) to be my wedded (husband/wife),
to have and to hold from this day forward,
for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer,
in sickness or in health, to love and to cherish, 'til death do us part,
according to God's holy ordinance;
thereto I plight thee my troth.
(Thereto I pledge my love).

Now how many of us actually think about these vows when we say them. I can honestly say I didn't. But when I look back on the meanings behind these words they make me so much happier that I did.

 Let's flashback almost 7 years ago. I was a giddy 18 year old getting married to a Marine! Yes, I was in love with him and nothing could have made me happier than taking his last name. But I didn't think about those words. All I was thinking about was who was standing in front of me and he was going to be mine. HA ladies, he's off the market. You can't have him.

Now flashforward to almost 7 years later, 2 kids and another one on the way, a dog, house payment, car payment, loans, bills, debt, the list goes on and on. I am upholding my vows to my husband. Honor, cherish, richer, poorer, sickness, health and of course that list goes on and on too. But here's the kick in the butt that I got today: AM I REALLY FOLLOWING ALL THESE VOWS?

Am I honoring him the way I should? How about cherishing him? Sure I got the sick and health one down as well as the richer or poorer but what about those 2? Cherish? Sure I love everything that he does for me and the kids. Is that cherishing? How about bringing him honor? Am I holding myself up to the level that I know he is looked upon. Am I setting the example and being the good wife that represents my husband?

Ok now here's the kicker than you didn't necessarily say in your vows. To follow. I didn't say lead. I said follow. Husbands are suppose to be Christ-like in the sense that they are to love their wives like Christ loves the church. The church is to follow Christ. Ladies, let your husband be the leader in your home. I myself have had the Lord convict me of this many times and I have finally gotten to the point where I know I must step back and let him lead.

Releasing the insecurities of the past

Dreams are powerful things. They either make you happy or make you sad. Dreams can be a rememberance of something from your past, a slight glace into what is to come, or just a fanasty. I have dreams that haunt me. Dreams that make me re-live certain things in my past. Things that I thought had no meaning until I looked deeper into them. I had one of those dreams last night. It's a recurring one that I hate to have and am so ready for it to never come back. It's a dream that I have only shared with my husband because he is the only one that needs to know about it.
William is a very devoted husband. He takes care of every need and tried his hardest to make me happy everyday. Being in the military that can sometimes be hard to do when he is away but he still tries.
As I took a closer look into this reoccuring dream that I have it came to my attention that I have it because of my past. When I was still a baby my parents divorced. I never thought about it much but looking back it did play a big part in my life. Living with my mother until I was 5. Being put into a foster home until I was 6, when finally I went to live with my dad. I went to visit my mother every other weekend and every other holiday, and 1 month out of the summer. Doesn't seem too bad right? When I look back now it was. Hearing what my dad had to say about my mom or my mom saying about my dad wasn't my idea of fun. Looking back I know now I was effected by this greatly. When we married William and I vowed we would never think about the words seperation or divorced. We didn't want the words to even be in our vocabulary and they haven't.
The devil tries his hardest to tell you lies. He makes you think they are the truth. That what my dream is. A complete LIE! It only occurs when William is away and it only happens when I start to dig deeper into the Word about marriage and love.
The bible tells us " Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you." James 4:7. How does this verse apply to my dream? Easily. The devil constantly replays this dream over and over to make me insecure about my marriage. I know it is a lie and yet I still dwell on the dream for days afterward. Not anymore. I am claiming my marriage to be secure and in the presence of God. With Him I have no fear of anything happening in my marriage. I forgive my parents for their divorce and the impact it caused in my life. I forgive myself for not seeing this before. And I also forgive myself for believing the dreams. I know God has forgiven me and He is there with me to walk me through this. He is the Ultimate. He is the One. He takes away my burdens and restores my mind and my thoughts.  "He said to her, "Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering." Mark 5:31. Although this verse goes with a story about a completely different problem that the woman had I can see the Lord telling me the same thing about the healing of my mind. I have faith that the Lord will take away the awful dreams I have. I have faith that my mind is clear and free. I have faith that the Lord will only bring William and I closer together.
So when you have insecurities of the past, let them go and forgive those who caused them to you. Forgive yourself for allowing those insecurites. Let us not learn on our own understanding but on Gods. His thoughts are so much better than our own. Don't you think?